goodbye. and sorry.

pictured: Holly, on a winter's walk, Walford, England

first.
i apologize for my lack of commitment to keeping the blog updated over the recent weeks.
i felt a time famine over here and was reluctant to spend hours updating and fooling with photos.
i don't think it was an issue of laziness.
it may well be that from about mid-november onwards, i no longer felt as though i were traveling.
i have not felt recently that i was on some kind of trip or excursion.
it felt like my life.
i was at home in myself and, thus, at home everwhere i went.
if anything, my imminent flight to Canada feels more like a departure than any train, ferry, airplane or hitching trip i've taken in the past two months.

again, though, i am sorry. the intention was always to keep the site relatively up to date and i have not done so.

second.
a quick update.
i left the farm in southern france.
i hitched to berlin successfully.
(sincerest thanks to Stephanie, Jean Paul, Christophe, the old German business man, Tanya, Frank, Elvaro, and the large Polish man in the tiny car, all of whom were instrumental in getting me from Montpellier to Berlin in those three exciting days. i will never forget your generosity, and although it is almost certain that none of you shall ever happen across this page, rest assured you have made my first hitch-hiking experience an overwhelmingly positive one.)
four days in berlin and a flight to dublin.
christmas in dublin with the hughes family.
so many thanks to Pat, Yvonne, and Neil for taking me in and giving me a family christmas while i was away from my parents and brother. i love you all and your kindness gives me great joy.
10 days in england with jess and her brother.
snow, birds, trees, music and laughter. i could not have asked for more.
now i'm sat back in dublin with a transatlantic flight looming.
and i am not the same person i was when i left in october.

not by a long shot.

third.
this is it.
i imagine this to be the last entry for the next while.
plans are fully in the works for my next adventure, so don't expect the site to become completely dormant.
but who knows.

i want to thank anyone and everyone for reading, whether stumbling upon the site once or following along since the beginning. overall, it's been a worthwhile endeavour and one i wish to continue in the future (though aspects like post frequency will have to be re-examined).
your comments are encouraged; any suggestions as to what i could do differently next time would be welcomed.


i hope to see everyone soon.
and thank you again for reading.

Cocky, Penguin, Delores, and the chickens

pitcured: Cocky.

there are 2 groups of chickens at Fargassa.
the first, a small group of small chickens who live in a small run behind the garden.
cute, cuddly, and polite.
save Cocky, the cockerel, a little fellow with an aggressive swagger.
he makes sure his ladies are orderly and in line.
7:15am. skies start to lighten and i arrive with the day's food.
i open the door to the small house in which the darlings sleep.
Cocky is first to stumble out.
he has a look around; he makes sure it's safe for the others.

he crows confidently to send the message.
an uplifting moment to hear such a beautiful sound come from such a beautiful animal at such close range.

the ladies, shaking off the cobwebs from a lengthy sleep, stroll out one by one to assess the new day.
Cocky attempts to take a few grains and kernels of corn from my hand.
he lost the bottom half of his beak in a fight with another cockerel some years ago.
he manages, though.

a few more fistfuls of breakfast for the ladies and i'm off across the river to the second group.
i'll see these little angels in a few hours for elevensies.

the second group consists of 16 larger chickens.
the rule of the roost is called Penguin.
displaying a lovely coat of feathers that grows more brilliant and colourful each day, Penguin struts about in a conservative but promising manner.
he is a young cockerel.
his crow, heard only seldomly, is in its developing stages.
toward the end of my stay, the days would fill with enthusiastic verbal dueling between him and Cocky across the way.
each day Penguin's call strengthens. i look forward to hearing it when i return next year.
expectations are high.
the same procedure for these 16; a fistful for Penguin, and a large helping strewn around the run for the others.
these chickens are bigger and more boisterous.
they also produce more eggs this time of year.

one morning, early on, i noticed one chicken in this group lagging behind, keeping to herself.
each day i observed her.
last one out in the mornings, missing out on much of the food.
sleeping in the corner alone.
her breathing seemed labourious. she was sick.
Delores, i called her.

days passed and there was no improvement in her behaviour.
in fact, her condition seemed to worsen every day.
i conslulted Madhu and Lynden on the matter; they decided to move her into isolation in hopes she would get better.
she did not get better.
she's old, Madhu told me.

for two days Delores stayed in a small cage by herself under my care.
i administered antibiotic water through a syringe.
she didn't like it. she choked and spat the water out; we tried still.

one morning, on the penultimate day of my stay at Fargassa, Jess noticed that Delores was looking worse than ever.
she hardly moved.
her beak rested on the side of the wooden A-frame, propping her head up.
she was too weak to do anything else.
i picked her up and attempted to give her more water.
a futile activity.
there was no fight left in her.

Delores died in my arms that morning.

we held a small ceremony and large bonfire for her the next morning.
the cremation was deeply moving and difficult to be present for.
we thanked Delores for all her years and all her eggs.
on my watch, the total number of chickens at Fargassa fell from 22 to 21.

these things happen, i know.
i'm not supposed to blame myself.
but i can't help but feel somewhat responsible for her passing that morning.
i'll take the experience as a valuable lesson, and keep it with me always.

i won't forget you, Delores.
i know you're up in chicken heaven, laying eggs and waddling about.
Merry Christmas, old girl.

and Merry Christmas to everyone reading.
take care of yourselves and those you care about; cherish any time you have together.
Mum, Pop, Cian, Grandma, Grandpa, Mama, all my family and all my beautiful friends.
i miss you all and i love you all.

brief update

i promise that entries of more substance are to come.
once arriving in berlin i will make it my objective to stay in, relax, reflect on and write about what the last 6 weeks have been all about for me.
i missed my flight from nice to berlin sunday.
i left montpellier monday morning with
6 sandwiches
3 apples
50 €
a box of chocolate bars
and a large cardboard sign displaying the names Lyon, Besançon, Mulhouse, Strasbourg.

i raised my thumb to the sky and put a smile on my face outside a petrol station near montpellier's outer limit.
five minutes later i was in a car heading north.
my good fortune has allowed me to cover 784km in 10 hours.
i'll sleep in strasbourg for the night
with a friend of a friend
of a friend
of a friend
enjoy another day here tomorrow, taking in the famous marché noel
and continue north wednesday morning.

if all goes well i can reach berlin in one more day.
it's only 763km from here.

Fargassa

no time to post anything of substance.
the pyrenées have swallowed me whole.

but
i'm alive.
i'm well. in fact, better than ever.

working my tail off at Mas la Fargassa.
wonderful people. salt of the earth.
stunning scenery.
and a peace in my soul the likes of which i've never felt.

i'm covered head to toe in mountain life.
scabs, scratches, dirt, shit, sweat.
i'm absolutely filthy
and have never felt so clean.

i send my love back home.
wherever that is.
i can't really remember.

photos to come when i return to the city.
whatever that is.
i can't really remember.

fairy tale city

Zürich is one of the most beautiful cities on Earth.
i know this now.
it is also one of the most expensive.
i know this now.
it is also home to some of the finest people on the planet.
lord knows i know this now.
a thousand thanks to my old friend Ursina for putting me up - and putting up with me - this weekend.
it is wonderful to see a familiar face when entering a new city.
she and Martin showed me a great time in and around the city, from riverside cafés to floorball matches to hilltop towers with breathtaking views of some of the world's most fabulous and surreal landscapes:



on saturday night i was able to explore Zürich's old centre on foot.
at times a city of light and reflection.
at times i felt i'd been transported to Legoland.
spotless, pristine, magnificent.
all the while, i felt i was in a dream.
add another name to the growing list of cities which i plan to revisit in the near future.

trekking through France tomorrow.
need to be on the farm by wednesday, i think.
if you don't hear from me for a while, it's likely that i found it and am busy getting settled in.
it may be some days before the next entry.
schönes woche.

Berlin: closing

4pm and it's getting dark.

the sun is setting on my final day in Berlin.

early flight to Freiburg tomorrow.

one week in this place is a disservice, but i will look back fondly on my time here.

countless wonderful experiences.

in-depth exploration - on foot, by train, by bicycle - of a city packed to the brim and beyond with secrets and mysteries to discover.

i've met several people in the last week whom i consider now to be close friends.

i'm thankful for the times we shared and look forward to the day we will meet again.

it will happen. and soon.

when you fall in love with a place, you will find yourself pulled back to it again and again.

so.

Freiburg for a day. again.

then a weekend stint in Zürich.

i'll find time for another entry before i put on my farming clothes on wednesday.

all the best to you.

tschüss!

Berlin: a day in trains

No Age review

pictured: No Age at West Germany, Berlin, DE. (click to read)

flea market

pictured: a couple on the steps outside the market.

pictured: a collection of pins for sale.

the back has been acting up the last couple of days, keeping things quiet-ish for me in Berlin.
spent the evening with Dagmar and her Latvian friend, Arturs.
a good, not-too-late night in, and a chance to recuperate somewhat.

got up at a reasonable time today.

Dagmar made me a wonderful breakfast - i think she may be a saint.
she then took me to the flea market in prenzlauerberg. on her motorcycle. (!)

foolishly i forgot to stop and grab a photograph.

you'll have to take me at my word.
the market was packed as the weather was mild.
people selling countless kinds of treasure - and certainly trash - in a huge lot by a big park that i'm told is one of the most festive in the city during the summertime months.

a walk around and a laundry run, and it's dark already.
fall back, indeed.

not much else to write at the moment.

back on the horse for a real tourist day tomorrow.

weather permitting, i'll rent a bicycle for the day.

i send my love back home to everyone. you are missed.

concert night (22 october)

pictured: wall enclosing a Kreuzberg graveyard.

more of Kreuzberg and a glance at the East Side Gallery (see photos below).

6pm and i'm out Katja's door and heading to a less central but equally interesting part of Berlin - Friedrichshain - and the home of my next host, Dagmar.

Dagmar is a soulful and genuinely interesting social worker from Austria who lives in a big, old, creaking and quintissentially "Berlin" (as far as i can tell) type flat with old wooden floors, high ceilings, and minimal-yet-beautiful decor.

the place recalls an old museum of some sort.
i sense some great vibes in here and can hardly wait for the next few days.
8pm and i'm Keruzberg-bound yet again with a scarf and skinny jeans.
if i can locate the damned place (i tried this afternoon, address and all, and was unsuccessful), i'll be seeing Los Angeles noise-poppers No Age perform tonight.

(turns out i made it)

tomorrow it will likely rain. or so i'm told.
(it didn't)
it may be a good day for museums and galleries, and i've been recommended a few that certainly sound worthwhile.
in the evening i'm due out with Katja in the vibrant Berlin night.
on saturday evening, an event with some other new friends (from the show) has been tentatively arranged.

Berlin. day two.

too tired to write anything this afternoon.
so, i give you,
Berlin: a day in pictures.


pictured: my wonderful Berliner host, Katja.



pictured: for my friends in records management: even tombs have retention schedules here.

and below: some highlights from the East Side Gallery.

Berlin. day one.

pictured: obligatory tourist photo, Berlin, DE

well.
i made it to Berlin.
just.
11 hours on the bus is a long time.
i've traveled for longer before.
but it was a long time.
i did not eat anything the whole way.
i've gone longer between meals before.
but it was a long time.
an error in communication on my part between my host and me left me out in the Berlin october evening for what i would have sworn at the time was eternity.
i've been out in colder temperatures with less clothing before.
but it was cold. jesus, it was cold.
periodical to-and-fros on the U-bahn helped to keep the blood warm and flowing.
Katja finally arrived and all was well (and thawed) after a hot, calming tea medley. a long, difficult, and at times torturous day comes to a warm and much-needed end.
i throw myself onto the big, comfortable, blood-red sofa in her living room and proceed to sleep a sleep the dead only dream of.

morning in the ever-changing city and i feel full to the brim with life.
a quick study of a map circa 2002 (read: unreliable) before leaving Katja's and i'm off to reacquaint myself with this sprawling wonder of a city.
Berliner Dom (down the street).
the (outside of all of the) museums.
Unter den Linden.
the Brandenburger Tor.
Reichstag (from a few blocks away).
the tiergarten (closed?) and parts of Kreuzberg.
backwards up friedrichstraße.


pictured: History of the Cold War and the Berlin Wall, Friedrichstraße edition.

now i write my notes and rest my legs inside a comfortable, steamy-windowed bistro on the aforementioned street.
Katja took me out tonight to show me around a little more.
more kreuzberg.
prenzlauerberg.
everything, everything, in between.
hidden nightclubs and the locations of secret parties.
this city fascinates. even on a cold night.
coffee and sushi and we're homeward bound and settled in by midnight.

good thing. the weary legs had warned me earlier: let's get some rest tonight.

long day. (20 october)

pictured: cool scenery suppresses hunger.

i finally see "BERLIN" marked on a roadside autobahn sign.
this is taking what seems like forever, and the "365 KM" stencilled in on the right side would indicate.
bumpy ride, too. i hope i'm able to read my own writing later.

it's been 5 hours already and i didn't pack any food.
the driver apparently stops in every town with more than 500 inhabitants along the winding way, but thus far he hasn't parked the bus for a long enough time for anyone to be able to jump out in search of nourishment.
the rustling of bakery sandwich bags and crunching of red apples in adjacent seats indicate that this is common knowledge.
i'll take this lesson to heart. bring food on travel days.
noted.
because what may be 5 or 6 hours by car or train could easily (and, in this case, did) hit double-digits on a bus.
we will see how things go.
i do have a few mints left in my backpack still.
if you don't hear from me for a few days, then they weren't enough to tide me over and i expired somewhere southeast of Berlin.

Vierwinden - back to Düsseldorf (18 october)

pictured: castle outside Lörrach, DE

saturday, after cafe wilden mann, i spent the day with Sarah and Vanessa, my lörrach hosts.
not only did they put me up thursday night, but they met me saturday, took me to the country for a delectable fleischbraten lunch, and showed me a wonderful mountainside castle ruin.

Jutta finishes work and we're Freiburg-bound.
small (200,000) but delightful student city.
seems it's the beating heart of the Black Forest.
Jutta and i take in the vibrant centre over a drink at Freburger Bierhaus before meeting our next host, NJ-born Liam.
the thoughtful and blond-bearded young wiseman takes us for a late-evening stroll to meet a few other Freiburg couchsurfers for drinks and chatter.
a lovely little group in what seems to be a great place to pass some months, study a passion, and make some new friends.
i'd like to come back here.
and soon.

a quick (much too quick) sightsee sunday morning (i use the term "morning" so loosely i should be thrown in jail) and we've to set our wagons west back towards Düsseldorf.
many thanks to Liam for his last-minute generosity and tour-guide suave.

6+ hours of autobahn can be trying.
i cannot imagine how Jutta must have felt at times, having given me the reins to the VW for the day.
quite an experience for me, too, as someone who grew up within the 110 km per hour limit.

i feel a little bit more german after today.

stop back at Jutta's folks' for an unbelievable supper.
spending time with this family has been a privilege and an honour.
i only hope my pre-school-level conversational german was adequate in conveying my deepest gratitude.

i think i'll take my sunday on monday (that is, make monday sunday), relax, and head NE to Berlin tuesday.

thank you

pictured: Vanessa and her prince charming, outside lörrach, de

pictured: freiburg tour guide und host extraordinaire, Liam (left) and Jutta.

memory (17 october)

pictured: out a hotel's rooftop window. lörrach, de

it's 1990.
i'm somewhere in ireland. it's september.
i am 5. i am with my parents.

fastforward to 2009.
it's october.
i am 24. i am by myself.
and i've just spilled a staggering amount of sugar on the table here at cafe wilden mann in quaint little mountain-town Lörrach, wedged in some grey area between germany and switzerland.
maybe those thin black lines marking the borders of countries on maps, atlases, and globes the world round are real.
not just indicators. but real space.
buffers between states.
maybe someone can check for me.
try and find Lörrach on the map.
if you can't see it, perhaps it's because your view of it is obstructed by one of those very thin black lines.
where was i?

the sugar.
the ladies have stopped laughing at me now.
and i recall the powers of distraction memory possesses.
but what i am continually fascinated by is the power of smell as it pertains to time travel.
i poked my head out a hotel's rooftop window into the rainy Lörrach morning and, for an instant in time (or, i suppose, an instant completely separate from time), it was 1990.
it was ireland.
i was,
no
i still am,
5 years old.

yet this moment, this instant that exists independently of physical space-time, still acts on and can influence physical space-time, as the 24-year-old is momentarily taken away from the physical world by the 5-year-old inside and thousands of brilliant white sugar crystals fall short - and long - of the coffee cup and spread themselves across the surface of the table.

the unique smell that is produced when a fresh rain meets an old town's shingles set off a chain reaction that began in my nose, moved to my brain, and ended with plenty of wasted sugar and old-lady laughter as i sat and reminisced in cafe wilden mann two hours later.

hell, it's not even raining anymore.

a room with a view (15 october)

pictured: Germain, Jutta, me

wake up in Straßbourg.
Germain has gone to work.
he's left us the keys to his flat and a note suggesting things for us to do during the day.
Jutta and i take our time making breakfast, getting ready, and tidying the place before venturing off.
it takes a while, but things start coming back to me in time.
i forgot how much i love this town.
perhaps it's just the familiarity; i'm not sure.
the narrow streets.
the open squares.
the old cinemas.
the university. dad studied there in '79.
and L'Ill, the old moat, protecting the city's centre.

two major differences stick out for me this time through.
one, i'm wearing a winter jacket.
two, i've got company on my walk to the european parliament buildings.
Matt had stayed back at the hostel in '06, having been too ill to partake in any real sightseeing.
i thought of you especially today, my friend.
you were missed.

Jutta and i had a grand time walking the brisk sidestreets and riding the tram for free before joining Germain for a drink in a cozy and inviting student bar.
he then took us to get a delicious sandwich from Made In France before seeing us off at around 19:00.
thankful for him.
a kind and thoughtful young man with an oversized heart and delightful sense of humour.
21:00 and we're in Lörrach.
Jutta checks into her hotel and we drive up (a ways up) to the lovely home of my lovelier host(ess)(es) for the night, Sarah and Vanessa.
the girls prepare some lemon tea for us and we talk for some time.
Vanessa is recently back from a 2-month stay in vancouver, so there is no shortage of conversational subject matter.
i'm lucky to once again be treated so well.
i have a whole room to myself and i'm told the window offers a beautiful view of Lörrach below.
i'll report back at first light.



first light.
a pretty view indeed.
Sarah will drop me at the hauptbahnhof "downtown" this morning.
from there i'll make the short train trip over to Basel, SUI and enjoy what is shaping up to be another beautiful day.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

expensive internet cafe, small town.
real updates to come when cheaper options present themselves.
i am sorry, faithful followers.
more to come.

traversing das Land (wednesday 14 oct)

pictured: Jutta's home outside Achen.

heavy eyes all day today. things went pretty late last night. breakfast with Jutta and Martin and a thorough tidy of the flat.
we dropped Martin off at the Hauptbahnhof and began the roadtrip.
had to take Lori (meow meow) to Jutta's parents' lovely abode near Achen.
some much needed nourishment and more German hospitality were to follow.
i get to see where Jutta grew up.
her father treats me to some of the finest coffee i have tasted in my life.
a peaceful home with a stunning view.
vines have embraced the outer walls and covered every inch.
inside, beautiful decor, relaxed atmosphere and lovely luxuries make this one of the most beautiful homes i have ever set foot in, German or otherwise.

we hit the Autobahn for the long trip to Strasbourg.
Jutta drives the entire way.
the Golf can certainly move. but i am more blown away by Jutta's impressive driving style.
this girl owns the road.
not for her driving speed (which i'm hesitant to even say is middle of the pack for Autobahnfahrer), but for her assertiveness, smarts and, in many cases involving narrow lanes and transport trucks, courage.

needless to say, nobody was going to be falling asleep.

we arrive in Strasbourg around 22:00 at the home of our host for the night, Germain.
he treats us to a beautiful meal - Alsace Flammkuchen, a favourite of the region - with bread, vegetables, and an outstanding Bordeaux (or two).
the gracious Frenchman is accompanied by his friend, Adrian, and the four of us share stories in perfect franglais until after midnight.
for the first time in my life, i feel less capable in french than in german.
the rust, though, will wear off.
probably just in time to return to germany and switch back again.

i am ever thankful for all of this. Germain treats us like family and we get a taste of France from inside the walls of a real French apartment.
Jutta has made me feel like a Dusseldorfer and given me the chance to live Germany, not as a tourist, but as Germans themselves do it.
as a local.
it's amazing; a true privilege.

tomorrow, it's Strasbourg by day, and onto Lorrach in the evening.

I know this isn't twitter, but i'm in a hurry.

going to Strasbourg!